she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Randomize
