I wanna bring you to show and tell
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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