i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
As shirtless as possible
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Randomize
