I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
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