I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
