I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
