My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
