She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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