How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
