you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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