its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
