if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Be still, my beating vagina.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
