What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
