let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
