Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
