If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
