Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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