You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I supernannyed him into submission
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize