I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
