It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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