I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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