in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
