He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
nut hugger
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
