Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
