I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
so let's talk penis.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
bring money and cleavage
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Actions speak louder than pants.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Randomize