Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize