Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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