i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
