Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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