either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
