jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize