I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
What did we do last night that was yellow?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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