To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Randomize
