The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
These tits shall not be calmed
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize
