I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
