Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
