I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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