Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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