omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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