he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
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