I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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