Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Randomize
