Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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