Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
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