I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
