my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
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