brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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