super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
