dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize
