I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
