my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
