Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
