I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
