$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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