I think I just saw someone hide a body.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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