This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize