1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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