Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
